Now, before we get into all the details of how you can watch 'Battleship' right now, here are some particulars about the Universal Pictures, Hasbro, Bluegrass Films, Film 44 adventure flick. Read on for a listing of streaming and cable services - including rental, purchase, and subscription alternatives - along with the availability of 'Battleship' on each platform when they are available.
#WATCH BATTLESHIP ONLINE FREE STREAMING MOVIE#
And yet someone does say that other well-known Battleship catchphrase: “Somebody’s gonna kiss the donkey.”īattleship is available on Netflix UK, as part of an £9.99 monthly subscription.Fancy watching ' Battleship' on your TV, phone, or tablet? Hunting down a streaming service to buy, rent, download, or watch the Peter Berg-directed movie via subscription can be confusing, so we here at Moviefone want to do the heavy lifting. He loves it so much that he completely forgot to include the line “You sunk my battleship!” at any point in the film. It’s a brief glimpse of Battleship’s self-aware brain, but it’s one that’s rarely used.īerg’s endless sun-soaked slow mo suggests that he’s all too aware of his blockbuster’s stench – the sweat of the American Navy, the lingering smoke of US gunpowder – but he absolutely loves it. “Who actually talks like that?” wails Hamish Linklater’s confused scientist. Gadson, going metal-toe-to-metal-toe with E.T. “Let’s buy the Earth one more day,” grunts real-life disabled marine Gregory D. The question is: does it know that it stinks?
There are 10 cracking minutes of grid-based guesswork that are unexpectedly thrilling, but otherwise it’s total guff. Even Rihanna’s headline-grabbing debut turn is forgotten the pop star’s Michelle Rodriguez impression blends right into Berg’s backdrop of dumb, macho stereotypes.Īll the while, Liam Neeson’s stern admiral stomps about like a T-Rex in a hat, ducking off camera for most of the 133 minutes so he can finish chomping the scenery.Īdd in a clichéd football match and a shipload of OAP war veterans (yes, really) and it’s pretty obvious that Battleship is not a good movie. The script still tries to make us care about them, but it’s a lost cause the charismatic Kitsch is wasted in the lead, while romantic interest Brooklyn Decker spends the whole movie standing on a cliff looking confused. Of course, all the puny humans are lost amid the grinding gears of naval machine porn. As loudly as possible.Īnd so we have crunching explosions, sizzling forcefields and booming cannons, all topped by ear-splitting music (Battleship’s soundtrack is so deafening that Transformers composer STEVE JABLONSKY should only have his name typed in capital letters from now). Anyone who’s played Ticket to Ride with the Alvin & Dexter expansion knows that board games can be fun when you add aliens – and Peter Berg seems determined to prove that theory.
What is surprising is how enjoyable parts of it are. It’s no surprise that a script based on a ship-sinking guessing game is a massive pile of hooey.
“Who do I call to get you some humility?” Skarsgard replies, delivering one of the worst line readings since Pierce Brosnan in Taffin. “You gotta make a few calls for me,” whines selfish naval officer Alex Hopper (Kitsch) to his brother, Stone (Alexander Skarsgard), after being threatened with dismissal. It’s never a good sign when you struggle to hear a film’s terrible dialogue over loud explosions and your own mocking laughter.
#WATCH BATTLESHIP ONLINE FREE STREAMING TV#
Watch Battleship online in the UK: Netflix UK / Apple TV (iTunes) / Prime Video (Buy/Rent) / Google Play / Sky Store / CHILI Cast: Taylor Kitsch, Liam Neeson, Brooklyn Decker, Rihanna
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